the · labrynth · of · my · mind

HEY! howz it going? good? good. So let me tell you about my trip cause ive promised a few people id right all about it here....it would take me too long to tell and i have to do it over and over again...which would just be bloody boring...

i absolutly loved staying in central london....im not sure where to start i think ill just do a day by day and stick random things in there :D .....the place just oozed history...the buildings were all brick ( but not the kind we have here) and the roads tiny....most of them were one way thats how small they were. you could totally picture horses and caridges rather then cars and central london was busy there were times it was so busy that you couldnt see any pavement just a whole lotta heads.

Saturday -  The first night there (after a gazillion hours on planes and in airports) we went to this place called Wagamama's its an interesting little restraunt....mostly noodle dishes and heath food...i wasnt totally in to it tho lol all i wanted to do was go to the hotel and crash which i did so after dinner with kai while colleen and jc went out for drinks with friends of theirs who were leaving for new york the next day.

Sunday -  We went to a pub to see more of colleen and jcs friends...it was a really nice little place called the College Arms oddly enuf it was right near a college...it felt weird having Kai in the pub as well but the drinking rules arnt anywhere near as strict as they are here... in london anyone under 16 has to accompanied by an adult. You are also are not allowed to own a pub.....the pubs are owned by the brewerys, you own the lease to the pub but you have to stock the alcohol the brewery says to stock....the only way you can own a pub is to own a free-bar and apperently those are really hard to come by but in free-bars you can stock whatever you like...if your thinking that anyone could just open up a bar if the dont want to buy a lease im sure its a little more complicated then that.....

ooooooooooooo booty call!!!!!!!!!! im sorry guys ill finish this later :D im gonna go get me some!

Current Mood:	mischievous
Current Music:	breakfast at tiffany's - barenaked ladies

its taken me a while to write this update but meh....if i want you to know whats been going on in my life you know already....im bored right now so i thought to ramble on in here because i cant find anyone else to chatter at...seriously its a friday night and im here... does everyone else beside me have a life??????? well thats not true theres a poker game going on behind me...i didnt do so bad the first round but i called colins bluff on the second round (like 4 hands into it :S) and now im here.....he was bluffing but of course he had the higher card then me...i was dealing for them for a while but i just wasnt having much fun...ooo i found a victim....michelle just came online...i wonder how long shell stay around....oh cat if your reading this..i have a thousand page letter i have to send off to you and if i dont get it out soon i WILL have to send it to you in a box lol ok its not that bad but it is like 11 pages long or somaybe a few more i think im going to write in it once more on my way to work and then send it off...monday at the latest...(bless me) im fighting off colins cold for him :S its fabulous can you hear the sarcasm dripping off that? colleen tells me its my fault cause i knew he was complaining about coming down with a cold yet i still sleep with him...anyhoo im off for now

Current Mood:

content

its taken me awile to update this thing cause our computer crapped out on us...sorta...the keyboard stoped typing some of the letters...were not too sure why but now we have a new keyboard....so voila update

the trip was so many things...its hard to describe...it was horribly hard...the hills were neverending and it seemed we had to climb up every one from here to botanical beach...the second day was the worse day for hills...we started off the day climbing up to the top of an 80 metre bluff and then climbing right back down only to go back up another 80 metre bluff to go straight back down again...anyway needless to say the rest of the day was a continual up and down...there is nothing harder on the legs then hiking straight up and down on a continual basis...especially when whoever maintains the trail places a bunch of two foot stairs along the trail when your going up or down...those thing are a bloody bitch to climb or decend (especially when youre nearing the end of your day and are exhasted)... the last half of the trail...(from sombrio to botanical)...are relativly easy ( i say that cause they are nothing compared the the first half) i would recommend it to anyone...to get me wrong its not a walk in the park but its still easy going...

i say the trail was horribly  hard...and it was....ive never pushed my body to the extreme i did ...but it was also an awesome experience and i plan to do it again...some would call me foolish...some look at me like ive lost my head but theres nothing so humbling as hauling your ass up hills just to go back down again with a 35 LB pack on your back...it bruises your pride and ego but when you finish... my god...i dont think ive ever felt so good physically before...you feel different...but enuf with that kinda stuff.....

i saw a bear cub!!!! it scared the crap outta me....here i am walking along singing to myself (another story) and this bear cub bursts outta the bushes on oneside of the trail runs across the trail in front of me and dives into the bushes on the otherside....stop dead....first thing i think of was "where the hell is mom?" we paused for a moment when we didnt hear anything we skidadled past the point of bearcub entry and got out of there....and yes i believe skidadled is the right word to be using there because thats what we did...didnt run walk or jogged...we...skidadled........we saw some other wildlife too...some seals and a seal pup...some birds but other then that it was quiet

the weather worked out pretty well except it rained on the 5th day...hiking in the rain isnt so bad...its stopping for the night and trying to set up camp in the mud and realizing that the rain has soaked through pretty much everything then trying to dry your clothes by hanging them up on a clothes line...knowing all the while its in vain because the rain is still pouring down on you...soaking the only dry set of clothes you have....that is the worst part i think...also crawling into your damp sleeping bag isnt the best either....nor is trying to take down the camp in the rain...or putting on soaking cold wet clothes in the morning...but hey its all in good fun...and it did stop raining the next morning after we took down the camp...what was funny was when ever we stopped for a break..each of us was cloaked in our own little steam bath from the heat of our bodies drying out clothes

at the end of the trip we were picked up by colleen and colins mom....what drove me crazy was the fact that it took us 6 days to hike the trail and an hour to get back to civilization....when we did get there we stopped at moms cafe for some food cause we were all starving...youda thought we hadnt eaten the entire time we had been gone...the three of us polished off a big plate of poutine then we each had a huge burger to ourselves...i would say we made pigs of ourselves...and ive never appreciated a shower more in my life then i did that night

im sure theres lots of little stories im not telling(mostly cause they come and go at will) that i cant remember and jc is hovering over me so when i remember them ill put them up here...if you care to hear them

Current Mood:	horny
Current Music:	green day

its been a while since my last confession...oh wait i ve used this opening line before...damnit so much for originality *sob* anyhoo we got the hike all sorted out were going on like planned but rather then colleen stay behind for the last half of the hike her mom is going to bring kailar up to sombrio on the 3rd and take him back down on the 5th so colleen can finish the rest of the hike....we leave the day after tomorrow :D all kinds off good stuff but i ve got stuff to do so ill finish all this stuff when i get back

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’97
Wear sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

(Brother and sister together we'll make it through
Someday your spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting, and I know I've been waiting to be there
for you. And I'll be there, just tell me now, whenever I can.
Everybody's free.)

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

(Brother and sister together we'll make it through
Someday your spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting, and I know I've been waiting to be there
for you. And I'll be there, just tell me now, whenever I can.
Everybody's free.)

Current Mood:

bored as hell

nothing new about colin....

i watched the butterfly effect the other night with colleen and colin....and i found out thaaaat the ending i saw was nothing like the ending they saw...the ending i saw was the happy (well mostly) ever after ending where whatshisname scares whatshername off at the birthday party......the ending they saw was the directers cut which is completely different...appearently whatshisname goes farther back then that in his past...he goes as far back as to when hes in his mothers womb and he strangles himself with his umbilical cord so he becomes a stillborn i was like wow...i still havent got around to watching that version yet but i will soon enuf i think...just thinking about that ending tho gives me the heebie jeebies

oh weve run into a speed bump when it comes to the hike...my mother was the one who was going to be watching kailar while colleen did the first part of the hike...well now my mom says she cant do it...so now we have no idea who to ask to come up to watch kai...also it means we wont have a car so there is an added expence we really dont want...im hoping everything works out cause i would hate to have colleen not come...grrr

Current Mood:

irritated

so jared and i havent got together at all since last time and weve only chatted at work....im thinking that maybe he only wants me for sex which is cool and can deal with that but he might not get it from me cause i already got the sex bud i dont need another...the reason i came to this conclusion....he only wants to come over when im home alone and never invites me out anywhere so its a logical conclusion right?

ive been seeing a different side to colin within the past week or so....lol normally when someone says that theyre talking about a meaner side...im sure colins got one of them but thats not what im talking about...hes been acting...playful...normally hes... not really reserved but not playful like that...i dunno maybe it was my imagination...or because he was stoned and we were exhausted...whatever it was i kinda liked it...normally i dont feel the age difference between us but i deffinitly didnt feel it that night...another odd thing that happened that night was whille we were fooling around he was like "i love it" it was kinda an odd thing to say...considering in the 5 or so months weve been sleeping together hes rarely said anything except for the occasional "oh god" or two (yes im so good he prays :P) im under no illusions that he was going to say i love you because there was no pause at all...altho id be lying if i said i havent wundered if he was going to say it...but its very unlikely that will ever happen and i wouldnt know what to do if it did...id be lying (again) if i said i didnt care for him more then i did before we started sleeping together...you cant sleep with someone that long and not start to care more for them...but do i love colin? i dunno...never been in love...never had someone love me i dunno what its like...i will say that colin is and has always been one of my favorite ppl...that, i dont think, will ever change.

so its been brought to my attention by one of the few ppl who acctually read this thing that i havent written in here lately so here goes...

that first night being home alone...never happened i ended up going over to colins and crashing so i wasnt acctually home alone til colleen left for peru...but im sure this is boring crap and you really could care less about it all

tough....

i went and got my hiking boots yesterday..very exciting the cost like $150 at capital iron (theres no store like it - i get that bloody tune stuck in my head everytime i say capital iron) the ones we originally saw at robertsons (i think thats where they were) were originally like 360 but the price was knocked down to 120 but the didnt have my size but its fine cause i like the ones i have now and theyre not as heavy....so know i have ot wear my boots everywhere to break them in...very doable...ooo im getting excited now....less then 8 weeks til we leave!!

man i wishes i was rich most of the time (or at least had a better job) well i cant say that really because i like working in the post office but i still wish i was rich...so i didnt have to work alllll the time but tonight should be interesting....im closing so ill be there til 10 and jared is off at 7 (ive mentioned jared right? hot stockboy?) weve always flirted back and forth... well on sunday he informed me that he was going to come over after work on thurs(today) i was like but youre off like 3 hours before me so he says...well i quess ill be hanging around....HA! 3 hours! you have got to be kidding me i seriously doubt hell be hanging around after work...i mean thats serious devotion....more logical would be him leaving and coming back (he drives) but im not sure hell even to that cause hes said hed call me like twice aleady and neither time did he call....both times his excuses were i slept til such and such time but meh.... if he does come over im not sure what im going to do because i cant have another craig/colin situation on my hands...im glad craig fixed that one for me....ooo i cant stand him for long periods of time anymore..like on fri night(wait ill come back to that) i guess ill just have to ask jared what he wants from me...if its the just sex...im thinking ill have to refuse....i already have a sex buddy...and hes really good so i dont want to give him up for another....but if he thinks more well then im going to have to give up colin as much as itll kill me to do so....

so craig...fri night...disaster....i called him up to see if he was going out dancing hes like yeah ill be there...ok good stuff i figured cause he could help me teach nicole how to salsa a bit.....well guess again he was rude and arrogant we get there and from the start he practically ignored us so i was like fine be that way..i asked him if charles was going to be there and he said no that charles left for vancouver the day before...mmk i could deal  just ment id be dancing with ppl i didnt know no biggie...well guess who showes up...the man himself charles appearently he got back the day before not left....hmmm.....so i danced once with craig...we parted i danced with some other ppl then i saw craig just sitting there so i asked if he wanted to dance his reply "no i said id be here but i didnt come with you" woah now i dont particularily like being snarled at like that so i said fine and i didnt ask talk to him for the rest of the night.. then he calls me up a couple days later and askes me if i wanna do something....uh how about no....i havnt desided if i want to go to the salsa palace tomorrow night yet...i told charles last weekend i might be there so i dunno depends on how i feel after work and if jared comes over tonight

Current Mood:

horny

so lifes going alright...ive had some eyebrow raiseing moments like for instance...a couple weeks ago i went skating with colin colleen jc and kai anyhoo jc was in a grumpy mood and colin ended up shopping with colleen and i went to his place while he did that anyhoo make a long story short....when he came home we ended up in bed it was weird....i said that i should probably go (no need overstay my welcome) and hes like wanna shag first? i was like what the hell? what happened to no more? his reply was he was single and i was single and i was there so why not? weve shagged (one g or two?)once since then also...on the night before his bday (or on his bday depending if you one of those ppl who autoswitch days as soon as it hits midnight) jeez that makes him 33 eh sall good.....

last night craig crashed at my place and he woke me up in the middle of the night saying something about how he couldnt do the just being friends thing...my additude at 3 in the morning..."fuck off and leave me alone to sleep" so i have no idea what hes thinking....

Current Mood:

bored

heres the short of it...

told colin about craig....he said we should call it quits cause it wasnt fair to craig....last tues was supposed to be the last night we slept together....but sun night we slept together....and i seriously cant see craig and i lasting very long...jc says im comparing craig to colin...maybe i am a bit but then there are also little things about craig that i know i cant learn to live with...i mean it would be cool to remain friends but i cant see much more coming from it....leaving colin is becomong more difficult then it should be

Current Mood:

contemplative

its been a lil bit since i wrote in here but this is the first time ive been home alone in a long time...the move went ok the bathroom is ity bity but thats myonly complaint about the house....i told craig about colin and he said that hes fine with it but no gf of his is going to be sleeping with another guy on the side so when craig and i are offically gf and bf i have to stop sleeping with colin....last tues i told colin about craig and how im not sure how much longer co and i could fool around...it blows...cause ill miss colin quite a bit when we stop sleeping together..even tho ill still probably see him :( meh i suppose i knew that eventually co and i were going to stop sleeping together...but it hasnt happened yet so its no use thinking about it just yet....

i went to visit kai and jc last fri cause i had come to the conclusion that ive seen rick and richelle more then jc and kai which is very odd...jc kicked me and kai outta the house so he could do some work...lol it was kinda funny...so kai and i walked down to sax point and hung out for a bit....jc said we sould do it more often...co says that it would be good for both kai and me... i think colleen was cool with it too...so  i mght start doing that but itll be hard cause i usually work mon- fri but eh well make it work....

im going to get my second tattoo tomorrow...im not entirely sure what i want done...im thinking a devil on my left boob area...or a really cool indian wolf thingy on my shoulder blade...well see....i beat my tomb raider game last night the end guys wasnt as hard i it probably should have been but meh...so im not sure what to play now...i lent colin my grand theft auto.....maybe ill just rent a game and if i like it ill buy it...i wanna try that new lord of the rings game...colin said a friend of his has it and its not bad.....oh and i got my trainee ribbon taken off at work...very cool....

Current Mood:

devious

so fri night was fun and im going out with craig again this fri and he wants to take me out on sat night too...my muscles were so sore on sat from the salsa dancing but it was a lot of fun....and i kinda cant wait til fri night..ive invited smo and matt too..so well see if they show up....ppl at work didnt lke craig much...they think hes weird but meh...so ill get teased alot lol nothing new really....i keep thinking that i really should tell craig about colin but i keep putting it off...im sure eventually ill have to tell him but not at the moment...even tho i know exactly what craig wants....

i got my ps2 on thurs :D grand total of $240 give or take a few dollars.... i got the game grand theft auto: vice city with it and a memory card so that was a bonus...but i still ended up buying tomb raider angel of darkness and thats what ive been playing mostly

in other news we are moving in less then two weeks so i have less then that to go through all my stuff decide what im going to throw out...keep but in storage and take with me to the new place cause ill have the honours of sleeping in the living room till i move out on my own which im getting excited about...but im still in the process of trying to save money up for it..which is a little difficult when mom borrows most of it...but meh all in good time

ah time to finish dinner..ta-ta

Current Mood:	cheerful
Current Music:	listening to bailey's chirping

iza baaaaack!!! miss me? probably not but anyhoo the computer crapped out on us so we had to get it fixed. oh im getting my ps2 on thurs so maybe i wont be so bored around here!

kitty cat has been and gone *sniff* we had a few good times but with christams taking up the major part of her being here we only saw each other 3 times but eh maybe ill get out to see her this summer....christmas was not bad...considering the family i spent it with ...lets just say it is one huge fucked up family...i ended up spending christmas night at colins....ah good times *sigh* new years blew but then it always does im not sure ive had a good one yet...its not that bad things happen...quite the opposite really...NOTHING happens eh maybe next year? which brings me to another happening craig a guy who used to work at fairways invited me out to this latin dance club thingy on fri....bloody hell my life has gotten complicated...last week (i think) colin told me that he overheard ppl refer to us bf and gf at the xmas dinner...im not sure where that got that idea because we were careful..anyhoo....but he said he just wanted to make sure i wasnt expecting anything from him..anything other then sex that is because there wouldnt be anything more that us sleeping together was just temporary and if i met some one i was to move on...but see the thing is at the moment i dont WANT to move on...but i figured i still better not completely cut off all the guys i talk to...so therefore ill be going out with craig fri night after work im not sure anything will come of it..probably not....oh oh oh along the same note...remember that guy who asked me out for coffee?? well i havent heard from him since...nor have i seen him in the store either...nicole says shes seen him around tho..lol i still think its way too funny...and derek stus bro wants to hang out if he comes out this weekend...apperently he wants me to give him a bj (he has such a high opinion of me eh?) HA! like hell i will...contray to popular belief i am not a slut i just like sex...a lot...oh happy memories of last night *sigh* i really need to get myself on of those permanent boy toy things (a boyfriend if you havent guess it) not that my sex life isnt totally mind blowing but i would love to beable to have the sex more then twice a week or so.....wait a minute what am i talking about???id rather have colin two nights a week then a bf  (only because at the moment the mind blowing sex is far outranking having a bf) plus you know id have to give up colin and weve already covered this...anyhoo im going to crawl my butt to bed cause i is tiiiiiiired *yawn*

ps rereading that...maybe my life isnt as complicated as it may seem to me

Current Mood:

exhausted

so i just got home from one of the most interesting days of my life....

its started off pretty good but then i got this customer who was kinda grumpy....thats all good i get them all the time but her card didnt work (said she had insufficient funds) so she said she was just going to run to the bank and i asked her a question...i had intended to ask if she was going to be long because she had meat and if she was going to be long we would have put the meat in the cooler but it came out wrong and she took offence and she yelled at me saying i was rude and all that crap then she went to the service desk and complained...

THEN like 1/2 an hour later this guy came thru my till and he asked me out for coffee...hes been thru my till a few times before but i was like wow.....he gave me his card with his numbers and everything...lol....ah good times...unfortunatly i couldnt get together with him tonight cause i have to babysit the demon children and when i called him to tell him that i had to tell him about colin...id told him id still like to get together with him and possible get to be friends but its up to him now...ill see if he calles with in the next few days lol thats just too funny

but im leaving you all now i have to work on my present for vicki...im her secret santa so shush dont tell lol

5 DAYS!!!!

Current Mood:

hyper